Fruits Basket Prank Calls
by happyfunball
Summary: Who will Shigure, Yuki, Tohru and Kyo call when they are making prank calls?


Shigure, Tohru, and Yuki were sitting at the dining room table.

"I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored!" exclaimed Shigure.

"But Shigure-san," started Tohru.

"I know!" said Shigure. "Let's make prank calls!"

"Shigure-san, that's not -" started Tohru again.

"That's not such a bad idea," cut in Yuki. "The only problem is who to call first!" He looked around. "Where is the stupid cat?" he asked. Shigure shrugged.

"I'll go first! I'll go first!" said an excited Shigure.

"Who will you call?" asked Tohru.

---

Hatori glanced at the ringing phone. Come on! He was just sorting his clinical records.

"Hello?"

"Hello!" exclaimed Shigure, trying his best to sound like a talk show host. "Congratulations! You just won our prize of 1 million yen to any random person!"

"What!" exclaimed Hatori. Either this was some prank call from people he knew, or he had won 1 million yen.

"If you just stay at home, people in suits will drop off your prize!"

"Wait a second…" said Hatori. "Are you -"

Shigure hung up.

"Shigure," Hatori growled, still clutching the phone.

---

"You were kinda obvious," said Yuki.

"Or was I?" asked Shigure, lifting a pinkie to his mouth.

"Yeah, you were," answered Yuki. He sighed, then perked up with an idea. "I'll call Nii-san!"

"Aaya might be able to tell it is you," said Shigure.

"I'll try to be less obvious then you," retorted Yuki. He picked up the phone.

---

Ayame looked in the corner of his shop. The phone was ringing. He sauntered over and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello random person!" said Yuki, trying to be inconspicuous. Shigure sniggered. "You've won our hourly random prize draw of 10 boxes of costume shop stuff!"

Ayame grinned, and resisted from leaping all over the place. "When do I get it?" he asked.

"Uniformed peoples will drop it off next eternity," said Yuki quickly and hung up. Ayame stared at the silent phone, then hung up, puzzled.

---

"Um, Yuki-kun?" said Tohru. "You were lucky Ayame-san didn't suspect anything." Shigure, meanwhile, was roaring with laughter. Kyo walked in.

"Shigure, you pervert, what's so funny?" he asked. Then he noticed the phone lying in the center of the table. "What are you doing?"

"Making prank calls!" Shigure tried to say through his laughter. Instead it came out something like this – "Making p-prnk clls!"

"Making prank calls," Yuki replied for him.

"Yuki-kun just called Ayame-san, and Shigure-san called Hatori-san before that," said Tohru, looking at Shigure with an almost worried expression on her face.

"Shigure's fine, Honda-san," said Yuki, laying a hand on hers. She blushed. "He won't die if he keeps that up," he added. Tohru nodded.

Kyo sat down next to Tohru and Shigure, who was now on the floor, still laughing.

---

"I'll try my hand at it," he said, pulling the phone toward him. "Shut up," he told Shigure. His laughs soon subsided into occasional minor giggles and snorts.

"Who are you calling, Kyo-kun?" asked Tohru.

Hiro's mom was in the bath, and his dad was away. He had no choice but to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, dude," said Kyo, trying to sound like a cool rapper person, and someone besides himself. "You just won a cool vacation somewhere special!" Hiro paused for a minute, wondering who could be calling with news like this. Then his mind clicked.

"Kyo, what the heck are you doing?" he asked.

"Oh, crap. Dang it!"

_Click._

Hiro had got it right. He put the phone back on the cradle.

---

"So, did Hiro-san know it was you?" asked Tohru, the only one besides Kyo who could still talk. Yuki and Shigure were roaring with laughter. Kyo slowly nodded.

"I don't know what's with him!" he exploded, pounding the table. "He's only in grade school and he figured me out!"

"I don't think he'll get too mad," said Tohru. Shigure's hand appeared on the table, groping for the phone. Tohru passed it to him. He took it beneath the table. Tohru heard him start taking deep breaths.

"Shigure-san, who are you calling now?" asked Tohru.

Shigure stopped laughing long enough to say, "Haa-kun."

"Oh, god, Shigure," said Yuki. "Haru will be able to tell it is you."  
Shigure shook his head, still shaking slightly from laughter. "I know the perfect way to disguise my voice," he answered.

---

Haru's phone rang. He looked up from his book. It was right next to him. He picked it up.

"Yeah?"  
"My Haru-kun!" exclaimed Shigure, making his voice all high pitched. Yuki and Kyo rolled their eyes. Tohru gasped.

Shigure set down the phone and put it on speaker phone.

"What!" exclaimed Haru, perfectly audible to everyone now.

"My Haru-kun!" repeated Shigure.

"What are you going on about?" asked Haru.

"I'm your honey, Haru-kun! Your private stalker!" said Shigure. "I'll give you three guesses to say who I am."

"Three guesses, eh?" said Haru. "Well, let's see, Kagura is in love with Kyo, Rin is to negative to admit anything to me, Kisa has a thing goin' on with Hiro, Tohru likes either Yuki or Kyo or something like that…" Tohru gasped and blushed. "Could it be a member of the Yuki Fan Club? Sounds kinda like Sensei pretending to be a girl."

"Three guesses!" repeated Shigure.

"I'll go with the Sensei route," said Haru.

"Final answer?"

"Yeah.

"Haa-kun," said Shigure normally, "you're evil."

Shigure hung up. Haru sighed, then also hung up. He put down the phone and continued reading. He didn't care what Shigure thought.

---

"Shigure-san," said Tohru, "you were very obvious."

Shigure nodded, while Kyo and Yuki howled with laughter in the background.

"Yeah, he figured it out," he said. Then he and Tohru faced the camera where this idiot who taped this clip was. "Those are all the calls for now," he said. Kyo and Yuki sat up.

"For now," everyone said together. "This is Fruits Basket, working for you."

**Hey there!**

Hoped you liked!


End file.
